While we originally thought that a break was the natural idea over the holiday, a moment of inspiration struck as Dallas and Blair decided to enter the front lines of the War On Christmas.
Various public Christian figures and Fox News would have you believe this is a war for the ages. Every year, a new non-controversy enters the “War On Christmas” courtesy of our friends at Fox. Christmas Cups at Starbucks. Lawn Decorations in Louisiana. Gingerbread “Men.” Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays. Nativity Scenes with the Baby Jesus in jail. Megyn Kelly even said once upon a time, without it even being a bad joke, that Santa was white. She was serious. The wounds from this war come in the form of head trauma due to excessive eye-rolling.
While this is of the least importance in our world, we couldn’t resist the opportunity to drink scotch and make bad jokes about this so-called war. Listen as you drive begrudgingly to your in-laws in preparation for the inevitable argument with your drunk uncle about the border wall. Featuring the teenage voice of Dallas, special messages from Buddy The Elf (along with quotes from Anchorman and 300 which have nothing to do with Christmas but were too perfect to leave out), and some Christmas carols.
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Time Off Work/Whatever You Celebrate!
Shipwreck Over Safety 